apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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