thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
