O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
