I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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