her vagine was all disorganized.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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