I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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