I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
