I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
where am i from again
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
