I didn't shave. On purpose
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
