I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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