hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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