i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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