its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
