i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
