were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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