You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
