i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
