He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
