I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
