C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
