you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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