it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
