There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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