Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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