You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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