you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
