he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
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I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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