So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
