Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
