But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
