I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just tell him i said nine months
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
