The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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