READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
