apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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