note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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