woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize