Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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