If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
