hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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