That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
