Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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