I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I touched a dick in church today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize