my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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