you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she looked like the before picture.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
