i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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