end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
