she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
