i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
