I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
