So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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