Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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