A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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