I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..