didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.