not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize