Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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