some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
