This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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