i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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