im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
