is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
