if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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