peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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