I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
