I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize